Unless you have been living in a cave you have probably heard about the recent news in Cincinnati..the mother who left her 11 month old in her car while at work, and came out to find her dead in the car. This happened about a year ago as well, very similar circumstances, same outcome...there was a big media circus about it, tons of radio time and editorials dedicated to trying to figure out if the mother was a fault, or if she should be prosecuted, etc. (she wasn't)..this time there was a similar media frenzy when the story broke, but now it seems to have passed. It is as if the community has already become hardened to this..or has the media just determined it to be "old news", or are they trying to be more conscious of the family? I don't know, but this case pushes my buttons and since I have a place to rant, I think I might. I don't know whether or not the mothers should be prosecuted, I don't know much about the law..but I agree with the argument that in the end it probably won't matter...they are suffering and they will continue to suffer in a way that make prison look like Christmas morning. I can't imagine how they must feel, how their older kids are feeling, how their marriages will survive...I don't have much to say about that end..but I'm just getting warmed up to the part I feel so strongly about and that is this...
I really believe these 2 instances (and countless other ones) point to a bigger societal issue that is not being addressed by the media frenzy, or even among the co-workers and family members I have talked about this with...there is a major problem with women in our culture at this point in time trying to do way too much. Women of my generation were raised to believe and embrace the idea that they could have it all, and we all set out to do that...but the reality is very different from this vision...our culture still lacks some of the fundamental support systems crucial to the success of this idea. There is not affordable childcare for working women, there are not mandatory paternity leaves, there are not professional part time positions available for women who want to decrease hours and stay at home with young children..and yet there are huge expectations on women to achieve this harmonious vision of a family life that just can't happen. It is frustrating and heart breaking to see the fall out of this situation. Clearly, it can be a matter of life and death. Is it really worth that? Can we look at how we are supporting families? moms and children and the poor dads that have to deal with the overloaded-over stressed-burdened by unrealistic expectations -women?
Happy New PROJECTS!
6 days ago
4 comments:
I hear you venting & I agree. Something needs to be done. Where do we go from here?
Love, Aunt Kim
Carrie, you should send this to the enquirer, editorial section as a guest writer. Very well stated. The answer? My opinion.. it may be too late to change the culture of what has begun. Americans have too much "stuff" and stuff is expensive and moms have to work to have the stuff.
There is no going back now to the simple life and basics. Women have to learn the hard way sometimes that they can't do it ALL and do it well.
Shelia
I think it is a tragedy that two babies died such a horrible death. I think our society has been numbed to these stories and that is an injustice in itself.
I agree that there should be an advocasy program in place. I heard someone mention that there should be a "Check the Seats" campaign, similar to the "Back to Sleep" and "Never Shake a Baby" campaigns . Although trite, these messages are drilled into parents and the SIDS and shaken baby death rates have dropped significantly.
You and I have talked about this extensively and I agree wholeheartedly - too much to do - too much expected (mostly of ourselves). Wish I knew how to fix it - simplify is a good idea just really hard to do at a time when things just seem to be getting more complicated; logistically at least.
Tragic.
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